


Backseat

by xswestallen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Drunken Kissing, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 19:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xswestallen/pseuds/xswestallen
Summary: Oliver is the designated driver for a very drunk Team Flash.





	Backseat

"All I'sm zayin' is you don't need the color in your name!" Cisco slurred his words. "The Arrow sounds sooooo much more intimibaiting than The Green Arrow. Ok, why do we need to know the arrow is green? We graduated preschool!"

Oliver sat stony faced in the driver's seat, trying to tune out Cisco's mumbling from the passenger side. This was not the night Oliver imagined when Barry called and asked if he wanted to go out for drink with the team. He deeply regret agreeing to be designated driver. The job seemed so easy, after all, Barry didn't a need a car to get home, right? Well, wrong. Thanks to Cisco's special speedster booze, Barry could barely take a few steps without tripping over his own feet.

Cisco and Iris had downed shot after shot, trying to catch up to Barry's instant intoxication. After Caitlin drank her fifth glass of Chardonnay, she climbed up on the bar to rant about the evils of pharmaceutical companies. Before she could finish, Killer Frost had arrived. Without asking any questions about how she ended up on top of a bar with a crowd cheering "Bernie Sanders 2020!", Frost befriended the bartender.

"It'z like, are there more arrows that are different colors?" Cisco continued. "Oh no! This isn't The Green Arrow like I thought, I confused him with The Blue Arrow and that guy's a terrible shot! Wait, look out for The Orange Arrow over there!"

Oliver took a deep breath. _Just a few more miles_ he reminded himself.

"Could there be a multicolored arrow?" Frost chimed in. She was squished in between Oliver and Cisco on the fold up seat in the middle. "He could be, The Rainbow Arrow!"

Cisco looked impressed. "On an alternate Earth where we're all gay, he is The Rainbow Arrow!"

"Did you see that in a vibe?" Frost whispered.

"Enough!" Oliver demanded. "Can we please have some peace and quiet for a minute?!"

Killer Frost sneered. "Chill."

Cisco burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I GET IT!"

"Yes, it was a very subtle joke. Such top notch, high brow humor." Oliver said sarcastically.

Cisco gazed out the window dreamily. "Hey, 'member that one time there was this super villain bad guy with boomerangs and he was all like, 'I throw boomerangs', so I said we should call him, Captain Boomerang?"

"Genuis." Killer Frost said with a flat affact that made it impossible to tell if she was genuine or not.

Oliver purposefully hit his hand against the steering wheel a few times. He couldn't take much more of this. The pestering sound of lips smacking together assaulted his ears. Oliver felt the urge to pull his hair out.

"Frost, can you at least spit out your gum!"

"I don't have any gum." Frost said.

"Then what's that noise?"

Frost shrugged. "All I can hear is the pounding of my own head."

"Drink too much?"

"More than this body can handle." She said. "Be glad I'm not Caity, she'd been vomiting all over you right now."

The smacking, sucking sound persisted. Oliver felt like he was going insane. "What the hell is that noise?"

Cisco peaked his hand around his seat. "NOOOOO!!!"

"What's wrong?"

"Barby and Irissss, they disapeared." Cisco reported in horror.

Oliver looked in his rear view mirror and didn't see Barry and Iris in the backseat. He immediatly pulled over and got out of the car.

When he opened the back door, he sighed in relief and exasperation. "Oh my god."

Barry and Iris had not disappeared. They were laying on top of each other in the backseat, legs tangled and lips locked. Apparently so entranced by their makeout session, they hadn't even notice the car stop or Oliver open the door. He cleared his throat, hoping it would alert them to his presence, but it didn't.

"Guys!" Oliver shouted.

That startled Barry and Iris out of their kiss. They looked up at Oliver. Iris giggled. Barry had marks from Iris' lipstick all over his face.

"You're being too loud!" Oliver told them.

Iris pointed at Barry. "It's his fault."

"I don't care. Just sit here and be quiet until we get to your apartment, when you get there, you make as much noise as you want."

"No." Barry corrected. "The neighbors have already complained-"

"JUST BE QUIET!"

Killer Frost leaned over her seat. "Is it getting too hot back here? I could cool things down...."

"Everything is fine." Oliver sighed. "They're going to be quiet now, right?" 

Barry and Iris looked offended, but they complied. They sat up and straightened out their clothing. 

"Good job." Oliver said.

Iris saluted him. "Aye, aye, Captain."

 _Whatever_. He slammed the door shut and went back to the driver's seat.

Cisco was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

"What?" Oliver asked.

"Captain!" Cisco shrieked. "Like Captain Boomerang."

Oliver rubbed his temples. "Ok, we got to get you guys home."

He put the car in drive and got on the road. But, before he even made it to the next stoplight, Barry and Iris had already sunken back down on top of each other, making more noise than ever.


End file.
